It's Ok To Be Alone

There are societal pressures on every aspect of our lives. From choosing the right career path to travelling down the road to adulthood, stopping off at university, marriage, buying a house and children. Relentless expectations are everywhere, all consuming and sometimes get too much. It’s ok to deviate from the path, to make your own way in the world. One area where there is a great deal of pressure, often from family members, is to be in a relationship. Perhaps this is left over from a society where we married at sixteen and our parents had a say in who we spent our lives with. Whatever the reason, most of us will have experienced the probing questions or sympathetic looks which come with being single. But you know what? It’s OK to be alone.


There are many reasons why someone may not be in a relationship. They may not have found the right person, may have recently ended a relationship, or simply not be in a place where they can give their time and energy to someone else. All of these reasons are valid and if you’re feeling any of these things, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Being single is not a bad thing, especially when you take that time to work on your own happiness.


I saw this post on friend’s Facebook profile earlier in the week and wanted to share it with you. Take a read:

Love Yourself

Now read it again, knowing what the final line is.


Self-love and caring for oneself on a physical, emotional and spiritual level is something many people forget to do. I have friends who have been in relationships for as long as I can remember or have been in a series of long term relationships with barely a week in between. When do they have time to think about themselves and to work out what makes them happy? Of course, the person they are with is hopefully bringing them joy but it is not the same. Being single, or being alone, offers you the time and space to consider what truly makes you happy, what you appreciate and also what you want out of life and in a partner.


What we as individuals want is often vastly different to what society tells us we want. Some people may fit into the traditional ‘norms’ but most people break the mould. And that’s ok. That’s good. Different people make our world more interesting, more vibrant and more fun. But you don’t know what you want, or what makes you happy, until you take the time to stop, think and listen to yourself.


What is good for you? What makes you happy? These are two important questions which we should regularly ask ourselves. The answers are often very telling when it comes to our relationships. If we are not happy, or are not feeling good about ourselves when we’re with our partner, chances are the relationship is not right. Similarly, if you do not particularly enjoy spending time in a one-on-one situation, or those times are awkward and silent, perhaps the relationship is not right.


Mutual respect is important in every relationship. But it’s also important to respect ourselves. Showing self-respect and self-love is a powerful way to ensure our life choices are in our best interests. If societal expectations don’t work for you, then do away with them. Respect your own desires and wishes rather that those which you perceive to be bestowed on you by society.


When you’re not in a relationship, remember to treat yourself with respect and kindness. Buy yourself small gifts which make you smile and trust in yourself that your future will be full of happiness. Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely or that you will be alone forever. Believe in yourself, surround yourself with friends and make sure that you practice self-love every day. That way, if and when you do meet that special someone, they’ll recognise you as someone who is worthy of their time, energy and love because you love yourself.


Become a happier person and make the world a happier a place, either independently or in a loving, compassionate relationship.


Go. Do. Experience. More Good Deeds.